The Psychobabble of I Can't
by Ldylaura2828
Summary: Pam's friends sit around and try to figure out why she is marrying Roy. Why she is so blind to what everyone else sees.


Disclaimer: Not involved with the show. I just like making the characters dance to my tune.  
Author's Note: This is a departure from my usual steamy soft core porn I normally write about JAM. I felt the need to explore why Pam is stuck in this Roy relationship. It makes me crazy when people get angry at Pam. (Blame to victim) They fail to understand how or why she could be so unhappily stuck in a bad place when everyone can see Jim (wonder boy) is right there. The problem is Pam's baggage doesn't allow her to see clearly. Also Jim until the finale hasn't been enough of a man to tell her directly. Jim is guilty of allowing them to play high school ' like you but pretend not to' games...sooooo enough ramble. Me thinks I do better with sex scenes but here's my attempt at psychobabble.

Cognitive Dissonance

It was a week before Pam's wedding. She had yet to arrive at her bridal shower but her friends were there. As friends do they began to gossip. And since Pam was absent the talk revolved around her.

"I just don't get it." Betty mused out loud. "Why is she marrying him?"

Pat chimed in. "She loves him."

Mary disputed that fact. "Does she or is it because she thinks she loves him?"

Betty pointed out. "She has been with him for 10 years. That's a long time."

"Right so one would think if she didn't love him, she wouldn't have stayed with him for 10 years." Pat stated the facts as she saw them.

"But Pam doesn't know anything else. She doesn't know how to be with anyone else. Can you imagine being with only one man?"

Debbie piped up. "Ick! No! Variety is the spice of life." This was met by chuckles and grins. "Seriously, what is she thinking?"

Everyone looked at Mary. Mary had been a psychology major in college and was now working on her Masters at night. Mary felt the eyes on her. "What?"

Betty elbowed her. "Come on. Tell us why Pam is marrying the dufus!"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Okay. Stop me if I bore you." Putting on her teaching assistant's voice she began. "Cognitive Dissonance is psychobabble for 'I can't.' It is the process for the great confusion we feel when new information goes against what has already been established as a fact. The person confronted with the new information may be quite resistant to accepting it into their belief system. It conflicts with established patterns of behavior."

Pat looked around wondering if she were the only one not following. "Huh? English please."

Mary pursued her lips. Okay a simpler approach was necessary. "An example of this would be if you didn't like peas but you ate them daily at some point your actions would change your belief of not liking peas. You eat them every day therefore you must like them."

Betty is almost getting it, nods in understanding. "It is justification. Because Pam has been with Roy for 10 years, she justifies being with Roy by believing she is in love with him and that she wants to marry him?"

Mary shaking her head in proud agreement. "Exactly. Now there are other factors at play here as well."

"Like what?" An interested friend asks.

Mary smiles and begins again. "Well, learned helplessness is playing a part. This theory is simple. If a baby elephant is tied to a tree and pulls but can't get free it learns that it can't escape the rope. That same elephant as an adult could easily break the rope but doesn't. Why? Because the elephant learned it was helpless to change its situation so no longer even tries."

Pat is shocked and not pleased. "So you are saying that Pam is stuck in this relationship because she doesn't think she can get out of it? She has just learned to tolerate it because there is no escape?"

"How depressing is that?" Betty asked no one in particular.

Mary nodded. "I know. Add the self fulfilling prophecy in the mix and she is just screwed."

"The what?" Betty asked with a laugh

"Self-fulfilling Prophecies are all about meeting expectations. Everyone expects Pam to marry Roy. Pam doesn't believe she deserves better than Roy. She's got low self esteem..." Mary was cut off by Betty.

"Isn't she happy with Roy at all?" Pat was simply shocked. This was all news to her. She always thought her friend was happy. After all she was marrying her high school sweetheart.

They group seemed to shrug. There was a short silence filled with sad sighs.

"What about that guy at the office?" Betty decided to ask the unasked question.

Mary was a wealth of information. "You mean that Jim-guy?"

Pat looked around and asked. "Who's Jim?"

Debbie jumped in. "The guy Pam absolutely adores at the office. She always goes on and on about how funny he is and how he makes her laugh. I think she is in love with him."

Pat was thoroughly shocked. "What? How can you say that? Did Pam say that?"

Debbie admitted, "Well, no. But I can tell she really likes him and he sounds so sweet."

Mary was shaking her head up and down. "I think she is in love with him but is scared out of her mind. Can you imagine? Plus he always seems to have a girlfriend according to Pam. Pam isn't the type of girl to throw herself at a man. And I mean he has never said anything directly to her and ..."

The quiet member of the group decided it was time to speak. "Actually he did tell her how he felt, just recently." A silence fell over the group.

Mary smiled sheepishly. "What did you say your name was?"

"Jim. You know the guy at the office, Jim." He looked around and smiled. "Now ladies how do we stop this wedding?"


End file.
